FEEDBACK: Estepheia@aol.com
AUTHOR's NOTES: Many thanks to MARCEE, my
awesome beta. Without her this story would have been a lot less funny. I also
have to thank NMISSI for sound and much-needed advice and some beta-reading.
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PART 1 - Beware of Xander bearing Gifts
It all began with a knock and Xander sticking his head into Spike's
crypt.
"Spike?"
"What do you want, Harris?"
"We are here to make you talk."
"We?" Spike cocked his eyebrow questioningly.
"My friend Jack here, and me."
Xander held up an unopened bottle of Jack Daniels and made it nod in
greeting, like a puppet. "Hello Spike!" he exclaimed in a silly
voice.
"Well, well, well, come on in, boys!"
Xander pushed the door open with his shoulder and walked in. Apart from
the bottle, he was awkwardly carrying a cooler and a crumpled plastic bag.
Spike took it upon himself to save the bottle from potential mayhap. He grabbed
it and set it on his little side table.
"Do you have glasses?" Xander asked.
"No." Spike said, visibly curious.
"Thought so. Never despair, readiness is all!" Xander rummaged
in the cooler and produced two glasses wrapped in tea towels. He dug into the
box again and Spike heard the clinking sounds of ice cubes shoveled into the
glasses. Xander placed the glasses on the table and closed the cooler.
Spike didn't even try to hide his surprise at the unexpected treatment.
"Should I beware of Xander bearing gifts?"
"Absolutely." Xander said chirpily.
"Are we playing Twenty Questions now, or are you going to tell me
what you want from me?" the vampire asked warily.
"We are going to watch a movie, and we are going to kill that
bottle. After that I might just be drunk enough to ask you something, and you
might just be drunk enough to give me an honest answer."
Spike tilted his head and studied the young man before him. He detected
a strange mixture of nervousness, embarrassment and determination. Xander had
never been comfortable with him, or with Angel, for that matter. Spike had
always been intrigued by Xander's very own brand of hostility. This sudden
change of heart was unexpected, to say the least. Spike watched with interest
as Xander unpacked even more goodies: ho-hos, a bag of chips and M&Ms, plus
three video rentals.
"So, you're asking me not to look a gift horse in the mouth until
we're both nicely plastered?"
"Yup."
Spike was confused. Was this some kind of male bonding ritual, a rite of
passage from enemy to buddy?
Or was this supposed to be… nuh, it couldn’t be, could it? A date? It
felt a bit like that, but the boy didn't smell particularly horny. And there
were definitely traces of Anya musk on him.
"Your choice, Spike: "Star Wars Episode 1",
"Hannibal" or "Interview with a Vampire"?"
"How long did you ponder over that selection?" Spike asked.
"Two hours," Xander admitted sheepishly.
"Boy, you've got a lot to learn about me. Jar Jar Binks, a
psychopath or pathetic Brad Pitt? Think again."
Xander looked crestfallen.
"Not to worry, mate!" Spike said cheerfully. "I'll get
some of my tapes."
He disappeared for a few moments in the cave underneath his crypt. When
he returned the drinks were poured and Xander was already chewing on some
chips. He was sitting in the only chair Spike owned, an ugly green thing from
the city dumpster.
Spike shoved the first tape into the VCR, sat down cross-legged on the
cold stone floor and grabbed his drink.
"This has got to be one of the greatest movies of all time,"
he proclaimed digging into the M&Ms. Xander looked doubtful but his
trepidation soon vanished.
By the time the monks intoned the countdown for the Holy Hand Grenade of
Antioch the bottle was almost empty and most of the munchies had disappeared.
Truth be told, most of the whiskey had ended up in Spike's glass and he
was feeling nicely inebriated . *What the fuck, carpe diem and all that*
he had thought and decided not to speculate on Xander's motives. It was just so
much nicer to watch a good film in decent company. And it was nice to have a
drinking buddy, even if just temporarily. Not the typical creature comforts for
a vampire, but then again he wasn't a typical vampire. Never had been.
He poured the last drops of whiskey into their glasses. "I guess
Jack's had it," he said mournfully, looking at the empty bottle.
"That's alright," Xander said with a cheer. "I brought
his twin brother." He took another bottle out of the cool box.
"Say, that's very thoughtful of you."
Xander just smiled and topped off their drinks. He was more than a bit
tipsy.
When the closing titles were scrolling across the screen, the vampire
got up. "Okay, big spender, time to swap."
"Huh?"
"The seating arrangement. You floor, me chair. Right?"
Spike took the finished tape out of the VCR and chucked another one in,
while Xander moved to sit down on the floor. He didn't move far, but leaned
against the hand rest. Spike found his chair nicely warmed by Xander's body
heat. He inhaled the young man's scent, counting that as one of the more basic
pleasures in unlife.
At the end of the second tape, Jack the second had been happily
sacrificed on the altar of buddydom, and both men were singing along happily.
"...if life seems jolly rotten, there's something you've forgotten,
and that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing..."
Xander couldn't help but notice that Spike had a very nice singing
voice.
"...always look on the bright side of death, just before you draw
your terminal breath, Life's a piece of shit, when you look at it, Life's a
laugh and Death's a joke it's true..."
When the song finished, Spike turned the TV off and it was suddenly very
quiet in his crypt. Some of Xander's apprehension reappeared. He fidgeted with
his empty glass and shot nervous glances in Spike's direction.
"You know," the vampire proclaimed as if stating one of the
irrefutable laws of earthly existence, "in the world according to Spike
some things just transcend Good and Evil: The Who, the Monty Pythons and great
sex!"
This insightful philosophical statement was punctuated by the sound of
Xander's glass, as it slipped out of his fingers and shattered on the crypt
floor.
Xander looked like he had been caught red-handed. He swallowed.
"Uhm... funny you should say that," he said nervously.
*Is he coming on to me? Alexander Harris? Himself? In the flesh? I my
crypt?* If not, this was definitely the point from which to spin an alternate
fantasy, once the boy was gone. The mere possibility of something happening
between them... The vampire took a deep breath.
"Let's see," Spike said, his voice deep. "You're not here
to borrow my Monty Python films or my The Who tapes. That means you're here
to..."
"...talk?" Xander interrupted quickly.
*Rats! Couldn't he have said 'shag'?* Spike felt a tinge of disappointment. It
would have been nice to be wanted. Besides, all that alcohol had made him
slightly horny. "Talk. About sex?"
Xander nodded.