PART 10 - Trust I seek
Spike coughed wildly because some tickling crumbs had found their way
into his windpipe.. Xander awkwardly patted his naked back until the coughing
fit subsided. The vampire stared at the human who was sitting beside him with a
slightly sheepish look on his face.
Spike blinked. *A threesome?* His eyebrows shot up. He opened his
mouth to say something, then changed his mind. Was this some kind of joke?
April Fools Day? Not yet. Candid Camera? Rubbish. Plain curiosity? Not
bloody likely. An invitation? Delivered by Xander Harris - hah, this had to be
some kind of set up. Unless? Anya's idea? Well, that made sense - in a remote,
Sunnydale-y kind of way. The pretty ex-demon's constant hunger for sex - or was
it love? - was something he could easily relate to.
Except that hell would freeze over first, before luck, fate or the
soddin' powers who ran things would allow him to get away with another good
day. *Oh crap. Now I know. It's another bleedin' dream! That's what this is.
Any second now I'm gonna wake up with a morning hard-on and I'll feel utterly
stupid. And I'll just have to stake myself to put myself out of my misery.*
Those thoughts raced through his brain. Actually they didn't really race; they
stumbled around and bumped into each other. And underneath that confusion
demonic anger was rising, because the demon didn't like it when things got
complicated.
"Hey Spike. You still there?" Xander asked, not quite sure
what to make of the vampire's lack of response. There were some very strange
expressions flitting over the man's face, but he hadn't moved a finger. He was,
in fact, eerily still. Xander had expected Spike to either make a maliciously
sarcastic remark or eagerly jump at the opportunity to get a good 'shag'.
Introspective Spike just felt all wrong.
"Is this... is this an invitation?" Spike finally asked, trying
to sound like this kind of thing happened to him all the time, but inwardly bracing
himself for a derisive 'of-course-not'.
Xander smiled weakly, but his determination never wavered. "Guess
so."
"Oh," the vampire said, thoroughly floored. He closed his eyes
for a moment, as if trying to keep his feelings locked inside. Another thought
crossed his mind and he frowned. He looked at Xander. "Are you quite sure
the witches haven't been messing about with spells again?" he asked. “Not
that I mind…”
"Pretty sure. This is something Anya's been trying to talk me into
for almost a year," Xander explained. He was beginning to find the
situation amusing. He had never seen the vampire so at a loss for words.
"I told you, Anya likes to try... weird... things. You should see some of
her toys… um, or maybe not." He cleared his throat. "So, what's your
answer? Five words or less."
"Won't work," the vampire said. He jumped off the sarcophagus
and began to pace.
"What?"
"It won't work," the vampire repeated sullenly. *Just say
yes, you idiot!* his inner voice screamed at him.
"Why not?"
"For starters, you can’t stand me. Plus, you don't trust me. What
did you do, pick my name out of a hat?"
"Um, no hat," Xander informed him.
The vampire stopped pacing and tilted his head, studying the human
intensely.
"Well, Anya goes for Freddy Prince Junior and Ben Affleck, but I
just can't seem to get hold of their agents. And hey, since I'm fresh out of
time machines, I think vintage Paul Newman is probably out of the question.
Although the Hellmouth does present us with some unusual opportunities every
now and then. Anyway, Anya hasn't been human long enough to make many friends
and, I... well, I told you, it's not like I'm Mr. Popular." Xander shifted
uneasily under the vampire's gaze. He was aware that he was blushing. "...
so I, um, sort of decided to ask you."
"Why?" Spike asked. His eyes never left Xander's.
"Well, um, better the devil you know..."
" ...than the devil you don't know, yeah, I get it," Spike
said. "Still, it won't work. As much as I'd love a good shag, believe me
when I tell you that you wanna do this kind of thing with someone you actually
like and trust."
"I trust you," Xander said.
"No you don't."
"Last night..."
"You were drunk. We both were," Spike said. "But not now.
Here, let me show you something."
Suddenly the vampire's face changed. As his game face emerged, Spike
grabbed the human's shirt and yanked him roughly off the stone slab and into a
firm embrace, effectively pinning Xander's arms to his side. Xander found
himself pressed against a lean muscular body. "Whoa!" The human was
way too surprised to offer any real resistance. He struggled ineffectually, but
the vampire's grip was firm. One hand was cradling his head, the other was
pressed between his shoulder blades. When the vampire exercised some pressure
to tilt his head, exposing the jugular Xander stiffened. He felt a sudden surge
of fear rushing through him.
Feeling the young man's heartbeat so close to his own chest was a bit
like having his own heartbeat back. Spike found himself listening with his
whole being. ‘Kill! Kill! Kill!’ it seemed to say. Its fearful rhythm thrilled
the beast but saddened the man.
"See," Spike said, smiling wickedly. "Tell me you're not
afraid."
Xander stared into the yellow eyes that were just inches from his.
"Spike, what..." he stammered.
"Maybe you like living dangerously,” the vampire whispered softly
into his ear. “Maybe you get a kick out of it, I don't know, maybe you even
want to get into my pants," Spike smirked, "which could lead to all
sorts of fun. But I can't see you letting a vampire - any vampire - touch your
honey."
Yes, Xander was afraid. It was one thing to rationalize that the vampire
couldn't hurt him because of that chip in his skull, and quite another one to
see his fangs and yellow eyes up close - within biting distance. He realized
his body was reacting with primeval fear and a little bit of something else
equally primitive... Something the vampire was bound to pick up. But, strangely
enough, part of him was certain he was in no danger. And somehow, he didn't
think Spike would ever be a threat to Anya, either.
"I. Trust. You," he forced himself to say. Even to his own
ears it didn't sound very convincing.
"No you don't," Spike said with resignation. "At best,
you trust technology. Not me. The moment that chip comes out or malfunctions
you'll be the first to ask Buffy to stake me good an' proper." With those
words the vampire released his grip on Xander's head. But he did not relinquish
his hold on Xander's body. Spike shook his head slightly and his bestial
features were replaced by blue eyes, prominent cheekbones and very sensuous
lips. Xander found himself staring into those dark blue eyes. The vampire's
gaze dropped to his lips, as if taking aim, then flitted back up to meet dark
brown eyes. Both men were breathing heavily. Neither of them moved. Suddenly,
the vampire dropped both his hands to his sides, releasing the human.
"Believe me, it won't work," Spike said, trying not to let his
frustration show.
"Shut up, Spike," Xander murmured, grabbing the surprised
vampire by his shoulders and wrenching him forward.