PART 14 - Payback
"Spike! What are you doing here?" Xander asked, louder than
necessary. When he had fled from Spike's crypt he had been confused, but soon
confusion had been replaced by anger. In fact, he had been so pissed at the
vampire for turning him on like that, he had almost forgotten that HE had
initiated the kiss. Almost. Accordingly, his shopping trip had been an ordeal.
Everything had taken a lot longer than usual because he had been distracted,
trying very hard and without any noteworthy success to NOT think about the way
the vampire's hardness had rubbed against his thigh. And now, the direct cause
of his turmoil was sitting comfortably on his sofa, carefree, cocky and
undoubtedly laughing about him or worse, spilling the beans to Anya.
He kicked the door closed with his heel, dumped the shopping bags on the
counter of the kitchenette and marched over to the couch where Spike was
lounging. *Why is he sitting on a garbage bag?* Xander wondered
distractedly. He noticed that the vampire was sipping blood out of his favorite
mug, which didn't improve his temper.
"What's it look like?" the vampire asked offhandedly.
"Like you're talking to my girlfriend."
"Oh right, the crime of the century! So, now I'm public enemy
number one again?" He put the empty Spiderman mug on the table and got up.
"Out!" Xander snapped.
"Xander! What do you think you're doing?" Anya asked.
"Huh? What do you mean?" Xander stared at his fiancé. She was
standing in front of him, hands on hips and looking a shade more than
irritated. The peroxided pest stood right behind her, a defiant grin on his
face, and... oh no, he was doing that THING with the tip of his tongue! Licking
his bottom lip and making it dart out between his teeth.
"I invited him in," Anya declared. "He's a guest. YOU
taught me how to treat guests. Even though I think it's stupid having all these
rules. I'm sure there are better things I can do with my brain than trying to
remember all of these strange rules of conduct, but if you say 'embrace' that's
what I do. I was a really good hostess, wasn't I, Spike?"
When Anya turned towards him, the vampire's smirk quickly transformed
into a charming smile. "Perfect," he said, his voice a deep, resonant
rumble.
She turned back to face Xander. "And now you want to throw him
out!" She continued to rant. "That's not in the rules. And it's rude.
And you said rude equals bad."
"Anya, he's not a guest, he's a vampire! You don't invite a vampire
into your home unless you're feeling suicidal."
"Oh right, is that why you let him stay in your basement several
times?"
"Um... valid point."
"Besides I'm not stupid. Before I let him in I made him promise not
to kill us in our own home."
Xander was about to contradict her, about to explain that relying on a
vampire's word of honor WAS stupid. But then, even he had to acknowledge that
Spike was a man who kept his promises. Feeling a bit deflated he realized that
he was overreacting. He was being way over-protective. He was in panic mode. Was
this Spike's idea of payback for the way he had chickened out? Not that it had
been intentional. But still...
What if Spike had already told Anya about that kiss? What would she
think? Would she consider it cheating? Anya was very touchy on that subject, so
she probably would. Cheating on someone who had spent the better part of a
millennium making men's privates shrivel, rot, fall off or combust was not high
on his list of things to do. Okay, so Anya didn't have her powers anymore, but
she kept an impressive collection of carving knives in the kitchen.
Spike recognized the panic in Xander's eyes. Oh yes, he WAS feeling
vindictive. When Anya wasn't looking he wriggled his right eyebrow suggestively
and blew the boy a kiss.
Xander took a threatening step towards him, but Anya intercepted him.
"Stop it!" she exclaimed. "You said you had a good time with
him, so why are you two fighting again?"
She looked at them alternately.
Spike's expression changed to one of hurt innocence, nicely rounded off
with a touch of contrition, which seemed to convince Anya. But there was
mischief in his eyes.
"No!" Xander explained hurriedly. "No fighting. No
two-ness. No nothing."
"What's the matter with you? Don't you want to let Anya in on our
little secret?" Spike smiled. *Now, that should put the screws on.*
"Huh? Secret?" Xander asked, his voice slightly higher pitched
than normal.
"You and Spike have a secret?" Anya interrupted. "I don't
like secrets, especially when no one lets me in on them. They're just so...
secretive."
Spike tilted his head. He was talking to Anya but he kept his eyes on
Xander the whole time, relishing the pleading look in the boy's eyes. "I
bet Xan 'ere I could scare the willies out'a him even WITH my chip... Anyway, I
won, and now he owes me fifty quid."
"You're betting away MY money?!" Anya shrieked, utterly
horrified. Her eyes darted back and forth between the two men. Then, "I mean, our money?"
"Sorry Ahn," Xan said, both relieved that Spike had not let
the cat out of the bag and somewhat uncomfortable about the deception.
"So what exactly did Spike do to scare you?" she asked
bluntly.
Spike grinned behind Anya's back and blew Xander another kiss, clearly
enjoying himself.
"What do you mean what did he do?" Xander stalled nervously. *He's
so going to pay for this.*
"Come on, mate, pay up," the vampire interrupted, making a
gimme-gimme gesture and saving Xander from further inquiries. "Unless...
you want to pay in goods or services? I have a little problem that needs fixing
back at the crypt."
Xander hurriedly brandished his wallet. But his fiancé had different
plans. "Sure," she exclaimed enthusiastically, nudging Xander with
her elbow, totally oblivious to the double entendre. "Xander is really
good at fixing things."
"Never doubted it. How 'bout tomorrow afternoon?"
"He'll come," Anya declared firmly, glad that they didn't have
to part with any money.
"Right then," Spike said. "Must be off, now. Anya, thanks
for the invite and the nice chat. Xander, see you tomorrow. Don't forget to
bring your tools." He grinned mischievously.
He put his jacket on, grabbed his blanket and the bag with his loot,
gave them a cheerful wave and exited the apartment.
Xander simply stared at the departing vampire, his mouth open.
"What happened to his pants?" he blurted out.