PART 16 - I've got Friends in Low Places
"Xander?"
"Uh-huh?" Xander said, not
quite as talkative after sex as Anya was.
"Are you and Spike friends or not? I'd really like to know, because
if he is your buddy I should invite him to my birthday party. And the sooner I
invite him, the more time he has to find an appropriate and hopefully valuable
present."
Xander sighed. He so didn't want to talk about Spike. Talking about him
would lead to thinking about him and thinking about him might lead to dreaming
about him and…*Oh, God no! I will NOT dream about Spike!* But, at the
same time, he knew Anya was relentless once she got her teeth into a subject.
Even if he were to summon the energy for an encore, she would undoubtedly come
back to that question, once the afterglow dissipated.
"Sometimes I kinda forget he's a vampire, and then I think he's
actually not such a bad guy. He's funny, in an obnoxious kind of way. Not that
he ever makes ME laugh. He's funnier in the let's-all-laugh-about-Xander way,
still... I seem to have gotten used to having him around," Xander mused.
"That doesn't exactly put us next to Ernie and Bert, as far as friendships
go, but yeah, I guess you should invite him."
"I'm sure Spike likes you. I mean, why shouldn't he? You're very
likable." Anya planted a light kiss on the tip of his nose.
"Yeah, that's why he finds so many endearing insults for me."
"Oh I think that's just banter, like in those movies we watched
last weekend, you know, with the two policemen who always wreck things."
"You think I am like Mel Gibson?"
"No, of course not. That character would be Spike. He's the lethal
weapon."
*And I am what? Housebroken, fifty years old and black?* As usual Xander
found it difficult to appreciate the way Anya applied the things she saw on
television to real life. "Thank you," he said sarcastically, but Anya
was not easily derailed.
"It would be good if you were buddies like that. He would look out
for you, protect you and risk his life to get you out of danger if you are ever
kidnapped and tortured by nasty drug dealers. And, because he really likes you,
he wouldn't ever want you to be sad, so he'd try to make sure that I never get
hurt either. Or our children, once we have them. I'd find that very
comforting."
Try as he might, Xander was unable to dismiss Anya's thoughts as
entirely far-fetched. They made sense, in a weird, Anya-esque kind of way. He
smiled indulgently. "Be careful what you wish for, Ahn, you might end up
doing Spike's laundry all the time."
"That is a small price to pay for the knowledge that he'll always
keep you safe."
*Price to pay...* Xander sighed as his thoughts returned to the dreaded
prospect of having to visit Spike tomorrow afternoon. He turned off the little
bedside table lamp. "I'll do a bit of picking-Spike's-brain," he
promised. "Tomorrow. Now is the time for sleeping the sleep of the...
sleepy. Nitey-nite-kiss coming up...now!"
He hugged her and gave her a playful kiss. They shuffled around until
they were both warm and comfortable.
"Good night, Xander."
"Good night, Anya."
*Good night, Spike.*