PART 8 - Girls just wanna have Fun
Xander spent Saturday morning in bed fighting a hangover and not
contemplating anything remotely to do with sex. Anya was neither particularly
sympathetic ("That's what happens if you drink too much.") nor
terribly fazed ("Let me know when you're feeling better, so we can boink a
bit, sweetheart.") . She made him coffee. Then she turned on her computer
to busy herself with investments and
websites.
Round about noon Xander decided to brave the world. He signaled his
willingness to Anya and they enjoyed a passionate, cheerful and rather
acrobatic romp, which was also a lot more noisy than last night's tumble,
before getting out of bed, showering and having lunch.
"What did you do last night?" Anya inquired over spaghetti.
"I rented a few videos. But then I didn't feel like watching them
on my own, so I went and visited Spike. Which reminds me, they're still at his
crypt. I'll have to pick them up to return them," Xander replied, feeling
slightly uneasy about distorting the truth like that, and even more
apprehensive about having to see Spike again.
"You went to see Spike?" Anya looked surprised. "That's
unexpected. I thought you hated him. Did you beat each other up?"
"No, we gave ourselves a heavy dose of Monty Pythons. We also had a
few whiskeys."
"So, you had a good time?"
"Yeah, I guess you could say that," Xander admitted and
shifted uncomfortably.
"Good. Are you buddies now? Because I think you should have a male
friend to hang out with. Every young man needs one. You can't spend all your
time around women. I read that's not healthy."
"You think I should befriend the peroxided wonder? Anya, he's a
vampire!"
"I used to be a demon. And now I am your fiancé," Anya pointed
out. "It's not easy for him," she mused in a rare moment of empathy.
"I sometimes think he feels lonely. No friends. No girlfriend. No sex. At
least not with another person. That must be horrible."
Xander sighed. There simply was no way of escaping the constant
association of Spike and a certain three letter word. Spike, Anya, fate and his
own traitorous subconscious were obviously conspiring to lead his thoughts
astray. But he wouldn't let them.
"How was your 'girl's night' at Buffys?" Xander therefore
asked, changing the subject.
"We had great fun. We ate lots of fattening things, dyed Willow's
hair, and put on peel-off masks that made us look like green skinned zombies.
We also stuck cucumber slices to our faces. Then we tried out all kinds of nail
polish and Buffy's new lipsticks. I didn't like their colors, though. I told
Buffy and Willow that strawberry red doesn't suit them. Someone had to tell
them."
She carried the dishes into the kitchenette and returned with a plate
full of brownies. "Leftovers from last night. Willow made them," she
explained. "Did you know that Riley's erect penis is 9 inches long?"
Xander almost choked on a piece of cake.
"You girls are discussing penis lengths?" he asked, utterly
horrified. "In inches?"
"And their thickness. Not in inches though, Buffy just said he's
hung like a horse, and held her hands nine inches apart."
Xander groaned. "Now that I know what you girls talk about when I'm
not around, my life will never be the same."
"Oh we don't always talk about sex, at least not in such detail,
but last night Buffy brought out a bottle of tequila, and we all got a bit
drunk," Anya explained. "Now, Oz's penis..."
Xander shook his head in disbelief, but he let her continue, trying not
to blush. She was the girl he loved. There was nothing they couldn't talk about
or share with each other. He still got embarrassed sometimes, but generally,
being with Anya meant living a life full of truths, both pleasant and
unpleasant. She had no qualms about telling him he should cut down on
chocolate, because she would object to him putting on more weight. But when she
told him that she loved his body, that no one turned her on like him, that she
wanted to grow old with him, then he knew it was the truth.
Unfortunately, she'd also tell him, that sometimes, during their love
making, it turned her on to imagine another man, Freddie Prince jr. for
instance, to be inside her. It had disturbed him at first. But the break up of
Buffy and Riley had taught him one thing. If Anya ever grew tired of him, if
she ever stopped loving him HE would be the first to know. HE would NOT have to
find out from his friends, that his relationship was about to self-destruct.
And that was strangely reassuring.
"So, you're going to see Spike again, today?" Anya had finally
finished her account of last night's events.
"I'll just drop by to pick up the tapes."
"Take him some brownies. He liked Willow's cookies, I'm sure he'll
like her brownies, too," she suggested cheerfully.
She also helped computerphobic Xander access various online
dictionaries. He had forgotten how the word was spelled, but after a few tries
he found out what the word "catamite" meant. And wished he hadn't.
Xander had never really seen Angel that way. *I mean Angel loves Buffy,
right?* And now all sorts of disturbing images were creeping up on him.
This was just a little bit more info than he had wanted. *'Boy kept for
unnatural purposes'... oh boy, welcome to the Twilight Zone.*