Epilogue:
Xander glanced nervously at his watch for the third time in one minute.
Spike passed him a paper cup with scalding hot coffee, while holding his cup of
tea between his fingertips, before he sat down next to him.
“Anything?” Spike asked.
“Nope, nothing, zilch, zero, nada…”
“Right, I get the picture,” Spike interrupted. He blew on his tea and
took a tentative sip making loud slurping noises, then snorted with disgust.
“Should’ve known better than to try the tea.” He placed the cup on a little
table near him and started to flick through the pile of magazines that was
lying there.
“Spike?”
“Hm?”
“What’s gonna happen when we’re
old and, well, you know… old?” Xander asked nervously.
“As in ‘too old to shag?’ You mean, what’s gonna happen to ‘us’? Well,
pet, there’s no guarantee we’ll even make it that long.”
“Oh no, I’m not letting you off the hook that easily. Say we don’t get
eaten by vamps, run over by cars, struck by lightning or swallowed in
apocalypse number 32 or whatever, what then?”
Spike was quiet for a while, staring at the magazine he was holding in
his hands without really seeing it. “Remember the night you came over with your
cooler an’ the Pythons?” he finally asked.
“As if I could forget.”
“You have no idea, how… how…” Spike stopped himself and took a deep
breath, tossing the mag back on the table. He looked up and met Xander’s gaze
evenly. “I don’t know what I would’ve done if you two hadn’t suddenly decided
to let me in on your lives.”
Xander didn’t know what to say to that.
“I’m not one to just move on an’ forget. I’d still be with Dru if she
hadn’t left me, part of me loves her still. And Buffy? Still love her. And I
know, so do you.”
Xander stared at the vampire.
Spike smiled. “I’ve always known. Anya does, too. But she doesn’t feel
threatened by it, not anymore.”
“You talked about this?”
“Yeah. You talk to Willow, Anya talks to me.” Spike said not without
pride.
Xander nodded. “But you haven’t answered my question.”
“Will I still love you when you’re old and wrinkly, smelling funny and
keeping your teeth in a glass on the bedside table?”
“Thank you, Spike, for that disturbing visual. Not exactly how I would
have put it, but yeah, that about covers it.”
“I’ll be around for as long as you want me.” Spike stated softly.
“But…”
“But what?”
“I’ll be honest with you. Celibacy? Not my thing. Not when there’s
plenty of boys and girls around, looking for a good lay, a one-night stand with
no strings attached. So, every now and then I may have myself a nice shag.
Afterwards I’ll take a shower and say thank you like a good boy. But then I’ll
go home. I’ll never do the same person twice, and I’ll never breathe a word
about it. You’ll never know. It’ll be like it’s not real.”
“Oh,” Xander just said. Not quite the answer he had expected. He had
expected Spike to shrug the question off as not imminent, but clearly the
vampire had given the matter some thought already.
“You and Anya, you’re real.” Spike added with great sincerity.
Xander turned Spike’s words over in his head, checking if they made him
feel jealous.
“Xan?” Spike said. There was a pleading look in his clear blue eyes.
“It’s alright,” Xan said thoughtfully. “I’m good. What about Anya?”
“Told her the same thing.”
“When?”
“Last year, after she sang ‘Stand By Your Men’ at that Karaoke bar.”
“What did she say?”
“She said, and that’s a quote: ‘Would it help if I asked one of my
friends to curse you so your dick shrivels or falls off? Celibacy’s easier
without one.’”
“She really said that?”
“Yeah, and then she laughed and said that she’d finally gotten the hang
of humor and I told her that you don’t joke about a man’s crown jewels. Anyway,
she’s okay with the cheating-without-really-cheating thing, that’s what she
called it. I reckon, the idea appeals to her sense of logic.”
Xander smiled fondly. “Pure undiluted Anya.”
“Uh-uh.”
“Mr. Harris?”
The two men hurriedly rose to their feet.
“Yup, that’s me,” Xander lifted his hand nervously. Spike, who stood at
his side, looked just as twitchy.
“Congratulations, it’s a girl. Your child and your wife are both well
and healthy.”
Moments later, the two men were rushing off to hug the happy mother.
THE END